Ugh, schedules! I hate them, and I can't keep them either. Never could, never will. Maybe I can't keep them because I hate them. But really, what's so bad about a schedule? What better way to coordinate several people living or working together in harmony? A schedule is like a traffic light; it makes things run more smoothly and prevents collisions and serious misunderstandings between people. While I do feel "liberated" when I disregard my schedule, the bad effects usually reverberate throughout my day and my relationships.
With the help of God, I want to have a change of attitude toward schedules. I want to respect and be thankful for them, not grudgingly half-comply and then get angry that I had to obey something. Why can't I wake up in the morning and be thankful that it's time to get up? Calmly stop working on that project in time for supper, instead of just plowing ahead until some unreasonable hour (and then getting mad because I've been "overworked")?
I'd love to be that kind of person. Wouldn't you?
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Why I Have Nothing to Bring to Critique!
(I wrote this piece after missing two critique sessions in a row at my writer's group because I had nothing to bring.)
Ah, the ultimate writing prompt, inviting excuses of crashed computers and clogged schedules. I could blame my new dog, or the tantalizing spring weather, or perhaps my brother, who spends hours each day talking to whoever he can find. I could also accuse myself of spending too much time on facebook (which I don’t, trust me.) But I would be lying if I didn’t charge Technology for causing the bulk of the troubles. Technology, or rather the failure of it, has caused my family more headaches than last month’s eight-inch slush storm.
Our technological difficulties center on the internet router in our basement. After two years of faithful service, it began giving us only sporadic connection. Several hours of attempted repairs to our wireless network not only proved fruitless, but ended in permanent loss of all internet connections. My brother diagnosed the problem as a dead router and ordered us a new one from Amazon.
Days of waiting followed. I discovered our next-door neighbors had an unsecured network and that any healthy computer within fifteen feet of the north wall of our house could access the internet. For the sake of practicality, my parents moved their laptop into my work area. Overnight, my quiet corner became the traffic center of the house.
My attempts to write are now punctuated by frequent conversations about news articles and requests for input as my dad finishes his spring nursery orders. My creativity, stubborn thing that it is, refuses to operate under these conditions. While I have little doubt my parents are reading emails rather than spying on my page, still I deem my thoughts either too personal or too incriminating to risk exposing them to the view of others.
But I keep reminding myself that help is on the way. The new router arrived this morning. After plugging it in and setting up, a process which took about an hour, we still have no internet. The new diagnosis? Dead modem. I hope Best Buy ships fast…
Why I Have Nothing to Bring to Critique!
Ah, the ultimate writing prompt, inviting excuses of crashed computers and clogged schedules. I could blame my new dog, or the tantalizing spring weather, or perhaps my brother, who spends hours each day talking to whoever he can find. I could also accuse myself of spending too much time on facebook (which I don’t, trust me.) But I would be lying if I didn’t charge Technology for causing the bulk of the troubles. Technology, or rather the failure of it, has caused my family more headaches than last month’s eight-inch slush storm.
Our technological difficulties center on the internet router in our basement. After two years of faithful service, it began giving us only sporadic connection. Several hours of attempted repairs to our wireless network not only proved fruitless, but ended in permanent loss of all internet connections. My brother diagnosed the problem as a dead router and ordered us a new one from Amazon.
Days of waiting followed. I discovered our next-door neighbors had an unsecured network and that any healthy computer within fifteen feet of the north wall of our house could access the internet. For the sake of practicality, my parents moved their laptop into my work area. Overnight, my quiet corner became the traffic center of the house.
My attempts to write are now punctuated by frequent conversations about news articles and requests for input as my dad finishes his spring nursery orders. My creativity, stubborn thing that it is, refuses to operate under these conditions. While I have little doubt my parents are reading emails rather than spying on my page, still I deem my thoughts either too personal or too incriminating to risk exposing them to the view of others.
But I keep reminding myself that help is on the way. The new router arrived this morning. After plugging it in and setting up, a process which took about an hour, we still have no internet. The new diagnosis? Dead modem. I hope Best Buy ships fast…
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Today
(I'm delighted to post this excellent piece from someone I love and respect a great deal. Although I never met her, I grew up listening to Katina's music on an old cassette tape my mom had. Those songs were my first clear introduction to the grace of God. Thank you, Katina!)
I will walk in love at all times and will not demand love from others for the Lord God loves me and His love is perfect and unchangeable.
I have no fears - other than the fear of God for all power belongs to Him in heaven and earth and it lies in His hand to make great and strengthen me.
I will walk in wisdom, strength and confidence for I am a new person and I have a desire to please God.
I am able to commit my ways unto Him and make the right decisions for my motives are not selfish and I am ever so pliable before Him.
He has forgiven me, therefore I can forgive myself and others. Neither do I hold grudges... He has accepted me as I am, therefore I have accepted myself and can accept others as they are... I LOVE THE FAMILY OF GOD... I LOVE ME... BECAUSE OF JESUS IN ME.
My Father gives me GOOD things so TODAY I rise in faith believing that all things work together for good because I LOVE HIM.
I will be patient and long-suffering with myself and others just as JESUS is long-suffering with me.
I will not fear about my future, my finances, my family or sickness for His grace is upon me and I am in union with Him - therefore His peace shall never leave me and He has made even my enemies to be at peace with me.
I will not live in the past or worry about the future for I am risen with Christ and I am seated in the heavenlies and my life is that of ruling and reigning with Him.
I will not compete with others but I will compete with myself so that I may win a prize - He alone is perfect in me.
I will go from grace to grace, glory to glory for I have no other Idols, images or Gods before me other than the image of God my Father and Jesus my Lord.
His Spirit is upon me, I am anointed of Him, I am as the lily of the valley. I neither toil nor spin, I have entered into a rest in Him by faith.
I am not carried away by every wind of doctrine for my foundation is standing firm and tall - I have the chief cornerstone which shall never, never crumble - JESUS.
I stand complete in Him - His joy in me is full. I am His workmanship - I lack nothing today.
(Katina Nicholas Ministries)
Today
I will walk in love at all times and will not demand love from others for the Lord God loves me and His love is perfect and unchangeable.
I have no fears - other than the fear of God for all power belongs to Him in heaven and earth and it lies in His hand to make great and strengthen me.
I will walk in wisdom, strength and confidence for I am a new person and I have a desire to please God.
I am able to commit my ways unto Him and make the right decisions for my motives are not selfish and I am ever so pliable before Him.
He has forgiven me, therefore I can forgive myself and others. Neither do I hold grudges... He has accepted me as I am, therefore I have accepted myself and can accept others as they are... I LOVE THE FAMILY OF GOD... I LOVE ME... BECAUSE OF JESUS IN ME.
My Father gives me GOOD things so TODAY I rise in faith believing that all things work together for good because I LOVE HIM.
I will be patient and long-suffering with myself and others just as JESUS is long-suffering with me.
I will not fear about my future, my finances, my family or sickness for His grace is upon me and I am in union with Him - therefore His peace shall never leave me and He has made even my enemies to be at peace with me.
I will not live in the past or worry about the future for I am risen with Christ and I am seated in the heavenlies and my life is that of ruling and reigning with Him.
I will not compete with others but I will compete with myself so that I may win a prize - He alone is perfect in me.
I will go from grace to grace, glory to glory for I have no other Idols, images or Gods before me other than the image of God my Father and Jesus my Lord.
His Spirit is upon me, I am anointed of Him, I am as the lily of the valley. I neither toil nor spin, I have entered into a rest in Him by faith.
I am not carried away by every wind of doctrine for my foundation is standing firm and tall - I have the chief cornerstone which shall never, never crumble - JESUS.
I stand complete in Him - His joy in me is full. I am His workmanship - I lack nothing today.
(Katina Nicholas Ministries)
Sunday, February 26, 2012
A little bit about me
I'm starting this blog for one main reason. I'm a writer, and I need a place where I can post some of my writing as well as gather a few of my favorite videos and songs.
I hope my writing will encourage others who are fighting personal battles, whether it be depression, loneliness, condemnation, or compulsive habits. I believe in redemption because I have experienced it. Jesus came to bring us true and complete freedom, not some halfway measure that means we're doomed to struggle and crave sin the rest of our lives! I don't yet fully experience this freedom, but I'm going to keep seeking until I do because I know it's real. As the Scriptures say, "Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come." (2 Corinthians 5:17)
I hope my writing will encourage others who are fighting personal battles, whether it be depression, loneliness, condemnation, or compulsive habits. I believe in redemption because I have experienced it. Jesus came to bring us true and complete freedom, not some halfway measure that means we're doomed to struggle and crave sin the rest of our lives! I don't yet fully experience this freedom, but I'm going to keep seeking until I do because I know it's real. As the Scriptures say, "Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come." (2 Corinthians 5:17)
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Book Club Discussion Questions for TESSA
Following are suggested questions to spark book club discussions on my novel, TESSA. Feel free to print these and alter them as needed to fit your club. (Updated 10/5/2013)
1. Why do you think Tessa calls her father "Walter"? What might have happened earlier in her childhood to cause this?
2. Abuse comes in many forms. It can be as overt as a fist strike, or as subtle as a demeaning comment. What forms of abuse do you see in the story? In the lives of people around you? What can you do to counteract it?
3. What is Heather's significance in the story?
4. Discuss this statement from page 223: "I know God forgives me. But I broke the law, and I have to face it. If I keep trying to hide it, I'm still guilty." Do you agree with him? Is experiencing forgiveness and inner freedom always contingent upon honesty?
5. What is Julie's role in the story? Do you feel she is a good character, or part of the problem?
6. If there had been no intervention in this story, what kind of future might Tessa have?
7. Professional counselors can be invaluable to hurting people, but they cannot take the place of a steady, caring friend like Patty. Do you know a struggling person who needs a friend? What obstacles keep you from being that friend?
8. If you could change one thing about this story, what would it be, and why?
1. Why do you think Tessa calls her father "Walter"? What might have happened earlier in her childhood to cause this?
2. Abuse comes in many forms. It can be as overt as a fist strike, or as subtle as a demeaning comment. What forms of abuse do you see in the story? In the lives of people around you? What can you do to counteract it?
3. What is Heather's significance in the story?
4. Discuss this statement from page 223: "I know God forgives me. But I broke the law, and I have to face it. If I keep trying to hide it, I'm still guilty." Do you agree with him? Is experiencing forgiveness and inner freedom always contingent upon honesty?
5. What is Julie's role in the story? Do you feel she is a good character, or part of the problem?
6. If there had been no intervention in this story, what kind of future might Tessa have?
7. Professional counselors can be invaluable to hurting people, but they cannot take the place of a steady, caring friend like Patty. Do you know a struggling person who needs a friend? What obstacles keep you from being that friend?
8. If you could change one thing about this story, what would it be, and why?
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Child abuse: Should I report it or not?
Every year, more than 3 million reports of child abuse are made in the United States, involving more than 6 million children.1 Who makes these reports? Law enforcement officers, counselors, teachers,
doctors, and other people who are known as "mandatory reporters," along
with a host of concerned citizens like you and me.
How can you make the decision whether or not to report child abuse? A lot of people agonize over it. They know of a horrible situation, but they're not sure it's serious enough to report. Or they fear repercussions on themselves or the children if something goes wrong. While they agonize over the details, unfortunately, the children continue to suffer. Following, I've addressed some of the most common concerns and misconceptions people have about reporting abuse.
Won't it make things worse for the child?
Not necessarily. While it's true the abuser may react in anger and abuse the child more, keep in mind that abuse tends to escalate anyway as time goes on. It's better to report it now and get the child to safety if at all possible.
I don't want the family to break up, or the parents to lose their kids.
They won't, unless the authorities feel the children are in danger. Sometimes, anger management or other classes/programs are offered to help the parents. Other times, nothing at all is done (even when it should be). While I don't advocate interfering in a family's affairs without good cause, if a child is getting hurt, he needs help -- even if it means going into foster care.
They'll know it was me who called.
In some cases, that may be true. The abuser could deduce it was you if you're the only close neighbor, for instance. What are you afraid he will do to you? Is it serious enough that you can't risk helping the child? If you're mortally afraid of the abuser, it's probably time to report him, move, or both.
I know the situation is bad, but I'm not sure it's bad enough to report.
Is the child getting hurt? Do you feel he is in danger? Does he live alone in a house with three heroin addicts? (I came across such a story while doing research for my novel Tessa). If so, by all means, report the situation before something terrible happens.
By the way, you don't need to have "evidence" or actual knowledge of abuse before you can report it. You can't get in trouble for reporting a situation that isn't bad enough. All you need to have is a reasonable suspicion based on your observations. However, the more solid information you have, the better. NOTE: Do not interrogate the child in an attempt to get more information; this can do more harm than good.
How do I report child abuse?
If the child is in immediate danger, or violence is underway right now, call 911. Otherwise, call ChildHelp USA at 1-800-422-4453 or go to http://www.childwelfare.gov/ to find the number for your local child protective services. Be prepared to give information such as: the child's name, the suspected abuser's name, address, and phone number, and be able to describe the reason for your concern.
What if nothing happens after I call?
First of all, CPS will not report back to you with their findings, so you may not know how things turned out. Also keep in mind that the system is far from perfect. Due to limited resources, reports will likely be prioritized based upon how much danger the child is in. If the abuse continues, call again. If nothing else works (and the abuse is serious enough), a 911 call placed during an episode of violence may be your best bet.
Just a reminder...
Whether or not you choose to report the abuse, always listen and be as supportive of the child as you can. Reassure him that the abuse is not his fault. Love him. And pray for him.
How can you make the decision whether or not to report child abuse? A lot of people agonize over it. They know of a horrible situation, but they're not sure it's serious enough to report. Or they fear repercussions on themselves or the children if something goes wrong. While they agonize over the details, unfortunately, the children continue to suffer. Following, I've addressed some of the most common concerns and misconceptions people have about reporting abuse.
Won't it make things worse for the child?
Not necessarily. While it's true the abuser may react in anger and abuse the child more, keep in mind that abuse tends to escalate anyway as time goes on. It's better to report it now and get the child to safety if at all possible.
I don't want the family to break up, or the parents to lose their kids.
They won't, unless the authorities feel the children are in danger. Sometimes, anger management or other classes/programs are offered to help the parents. Other times, nothing at all is done (even when it should be). While I don't advocate interfering in a family's affairs without good cause, if a child is getting hurt, he needs help -- even if it means going into foster care.
They'll know it was me who called.
In some cases, that may be true. The abuser could deduce it was you if you're the only close neighbor, for instance. What are you afraid he will do to you? Is it serious enough that you can't risk helping the child? If you're mortally afraid of the abuser, it's probably time to report him, move, or both.
I know the situation is bad, but I'm not sure it's bad enough to report.
Is the child getting hurt? Do you feel he is in danger? Does he live alone in a house with three heroin addicts? (I came across such a story while doing research for my novel Tessa). If so, by all means, report the situation before something terrible happens.
By the way, you don't need to have "evidence" or actual knowledge of abuse before you can report it. You can't get in trouble for reporting a situation that isn't bad enough. All you need to have is a reasonable suspicion based on your observations. However, the more solid information you have, the better. NOTE: Do not interrogate the child in an attempt to get more information; this can do more harm than good.
How do I report child abuse?
If the child is in immediate danger, or violence is underway right now, call 911. Otherwise, call ChildHelp USA at 1-800-422-4453 or go to http://www.childwelfare.gov/ to find the number for your local child protective services. Be prepared to give information such as: the child's name, the suspected abuser's name, address, and phone number, and be able to describe the reason for your concern.
What if nothing happens after I call?
First of all, CPS will not report back to you with their findings, so you may not know how things turned out. Also keep in mind that the system is far from perfect. Due to limited resources, reports will likely be prioritized based upon how much danger the child is in. If the abuse continues, call again. If nothing else works (and the abuse is serious enough), a 911 call placed during an episode of violence may be your best bet.
Just a reminder...
Whether or not you choose to report the abuse, always listen and be as supportive of the child as you can. Reassure him that the abuse is not his fault. Love him. And pray for him.
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